Everybody Came To Nobody's Wedding

Everybody Knew It Was Bound To Be A Hoot

What Can You Do When Nothing Else Is Cooking

Make Your Own Amusement, Bring A Pile Of Loot



There Was Alice The Butcher, Tidy And Gunn

Who Couldn't See Where They Were Heading

It Was Sixteen Days And Sixteen Nights,

And It Weren't Even Nobody's Wedding



What A Great Reception, All The People Cried

Who Stole The Groom And Who Stole The Bride

How Did The Countess Slide Underneath The Door

Why Is The Wild Boy Chopping Up The Floor?



There Was Alice The Butcher, Tidy And Gunn

Who Couldn't See Where They Were Heading

It Was Sixteen Days And Sixteen Nights,

And It Weren't Even Nobody's Wedding



I Didn't Hear The Sound Of The Tin Cans Rattle

I Didn't Hear A Teardrop, I Didn't Hear A Prattle

Didn't Hear The Words Of The Bible Being Read

When It's Nobody's Wedding, Nobody's Wed



There Was Alice The Butcher, Tidy And Gunn

Who Couldn't See Where They Were Heading

It Was Sixteen Days And Sixteen Nights,

And It Weren't Even Nobody's Wedding